Monday, November 3, 2014

How To Make Her Feel Understood

Men and women often have a difficult time understanding each other. I'll be unbiased though,  it has been my observation that it is generally men who seem to cause the misunderstanding, by not even understanding that there is a misunderstanding. Every person desires to be  understood, but learning to understand somebody can be quite frustrating. When somebody doesn't feel understood, they don't feel listened to, and at that point, effective communication is halted.  Lack of communication is a huge barrier to intimacy, and being misunderstood often seems to be a root cause to this lack of communication and intimacy.

In his book Love & Respect Dr. Emerson Eggerichs  states that a woman's need to feel understood is insatiable. He gives some pointers to making a women feel understood:

  • Listen and repeat back what she says
  • Don't try to "fix her problems unless" she specifically asks
  • Try to identify her feelings
  • Never dismiss her feelings, no matter how illogical they seem
  • Say "I appreciate you sharing that with me."
  • Don't interrupt when she is trying to tell you how she feels
  • Apologize and admit being wrong
  • Cut her slack during her monthly cycle
  • See something that needs done and do it without hassle
  • Express appreciation for all she does. "Honey, I could never do your job."
  • Pray with her and for her

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